3 weeks left

So I have made the decision to move back to Wisconsin - to live in downtown Milwaukee ((aka civilization)) on the lakefront with one of my besties!!!

I am partly sad to leave some of the great people I have met here and the kids but I am excited to go back home, to a land of PEOPLE and PEOPLE I KNOW!!!

I can't believe how FAST this first year of teaching has gone. I must be a real teacher because I have learned that you are really 'getting it' when you no longer have the time ((or the energy)) to organize your desk at the end of the day, stay on top of everything to get done AND blog - low priority!

Now, I have my TO DO BY THE END OF THE YEAR list posted on my wall above my desk with 1 out of 25 tasks completed - I better get over my procrastination bug and get to work ((not to mention my TO DO list for home/life/moving)).

I will be crying on my way out of Vermont -- tears of sadness, tears of missing my friends and students and tears of joy -- as bad as that sounds!!

MILWAUKEE here I come - T-minus 3 weeks!

crazy

I have not written on my blog in TOO long - so much for my new year's resoultion in trying to blog more often....TYPICAL of me and my supposed 'resolutions'. So what has happened lately? 1. Wendnesday night class --> I for some reason ((well I do have a reason, to use the professional development money I have through work and to get 3 graduate credits for FREE and I suppose to learn more about Autism Spectrum Disorders)) decided to take a class this semester. It is a 3 credit class through the University of Vermont and I wish I could say I have been a model student. As you can see I am writing this blog as I am sitting in class paying perfect attention ;0 This class is in Burlington ((the only real CITY in Vermont)) so I take it at a distance learning lab in Brattleboro ((a semi town in Vermont)) with 2 other people. The teacher is on the screen - in other words - the teacher is NOT present. SO, after a long day of work and running around, what do I do? I sit in the extremely comfortable office chair that reclines and relax. I do absorb some information ((I make it a goal to learn 3 new things every class and try to apply at least 1 thing I have learned at school with kids each week, so I am not a totally hopeless student)) but I tend to let my fingers click on facebook.com. This is my time to catch up on the latest drama/news/information from my facebook friends and people that I am friends with who I haven't actually spoken to or seen for 5+ years.....very important! Also, I am able to chat with my friends who work and are not on facebook during my 10:00 am 'snack breaks' in which I quickly check my fb during the day ((very legitimate as I never have more than 10 -15 minutes on a good day- to have my "duty free lunch")). So it is multi-tasking central. I also take this time to check on my bank account online ((make sure I am not in the negative)), T-Mobile ((make sure I am not over my minutes or texts which I usually am and to see how much I will owe on my phone bill next month)) and various other 'clicking around' opportunities....All in all I am having a very productive use of my 3 hour block of class. As long as I do my assignments and talk/answer one question per class I am good to go!! 2. Bridesmaid.com --> This summer is going to be wedding central! I am going to be in my first ever wedding as a bridesmaid on July 2nd and going to a wedding the night before on the 1st and am the 'personal attendent' ((I can't wait to learn what that means)). Then I will hopefully going to another wedding in August ((you know who you are, and I BETTER get invited!!)) Lastly, I get to be a maid of honor for a friend getting married in September. PHEW. So the bridesmaid saga begins: bridesmaid dress #1. I get to wear a very pretty dress in July that is made by a nice designer ((Coren Moore)) however there is one slight problem.......it does NOT fit. Let me go back a little bit. In Decemeber I went to Bella Bridesmaid - the store where we were buying the dress through - to get measured and try on a sample ((aka a dress of the same style but not color or fabric that is 3 sizes too small for you to give you a 'sample' of what you might look like)). So, I try on the sample and with my bra hanging out on the side and the hemline SUPER short I am horrified to step out from behind the curtain but I do. I get the dress clipped to my bra so nothing pops out and to give the illusion that the dress is the correct size. The dress actually does not look bad, it looks good and is a cute style with one strap ((minus how short it is!)). The worker girl tells me that the dress I get will most likely be longer because....who knows, I don't remember. Now the fun part. I get re-dressed and the measuring tape comes out. I get measured and then the worker girl writes down my measurements and matches them up to a magic chart that is supposed to tell me what size dress I should spend my $275 on. So this 'magic' chart tells me between a size 16 and 18 ----- OH MY GOD, an 18???? I had been prepping myself for a bigger size because I know that bridesmaid dresses run smaller, but an 18?? The worker girl told me that I was between a 16 and 18 ((like I should feel better about that)) but that they always recommend going with the bigger size because it is easier to take a dress in then let it out ((okay, I can agree with that)). I finally write down my dress size choice ((yes, they make you write it down and initial that you agree that YOU made the choice and that YOU are responsible if it is not the right size)) of a size 18 even though I am SO pissed off. I had lost 10 pounds since summer by Christmas and was not expecting that. I usually wear a size 12 or 14 dress but not an 18. Okay so I slowly got over it ((the 18)) until the day the box arrived. The box arrived on my doorstep on a Friday. I get home from work and excitedly open it ((I love getting mail and love packages even more)). I carefully take the dress out and get the plastic off of it and put it on. OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD. IT DOES NOT FIT. I knew this was going to happen. Oh and don't worry it's not too small but too big. Not just too big but ginormous. Like I look like an elephant with it on. The one strap goes on and then the other side goes below my boob. Like oh hello, welcome to the wedding, would you like to look at my chest? Here it is, right in front of you. I don't even get upset or panic, I just get furiously ANGRY. SOOOO PISSED. Like I am going to need a new dress pissed. I immediately call my besties to try to vent to them but no one answers. SO I take a picture of me in it and text it to my besties. I slowly tried to release the anger and it slowly got better but then it amped up again when 2 of my work friends came over ((I know, hard to believe that I have friends)) and I got to raving and ranting again and put the dress on over my clothes and it was still SO big. The next day, I was a little less angry and tried it on again. I tried to clip it in ((with a chip clip of course)) and see if there was any hope for it. There was hope. THANK GOD! So I called my parents and ranted to them and they told me I needed to call the bride. A. I didn't want to call the bride when I was super angry because I did not want her to think I was pissed at her. B. I didn't want the bride to think I was mad at her. She was extremely supportive and immediately sprung to action saying she was going to call Bella Bridesmaid ready for a fight. RESOLUTION: 6/8 bridesmaids dresses are too big. So looks like Bella Bridesmaid insisting on all of us going with the bigger size was not necessary ((the 2 whose dresses fit, went back and argued to go down to a smaller size with the order)). But I can get it taken in by having the seam taken out on the side the zipper is not in and having the dress re-sewn to fit me. PHEW. 3. CREEPERs in Brattleboro --> So I went out for a few drinks one Thursday night ((it happened to be St. Patrick's Day)) with a friend from work. My friend ran into a guy she knew who had fixed her car once. He kept coming over to where we were sitting the whole time ((we were not there more than 2 hours)) to ask my friend if she wanted to go outside to smoke with him. A. She does not smoke. B. She was not going to leave me alone in the bar. C. He is a creeper. So, we are getting ready to go and I walk outside thinking my friend is behind me but I turn and she is still inside talking to creeper. I walk back in ((this is where I went wrong)) to get my friend and the creeper goes; "The real reason why I kept coming up to you *my friend* was to talk to her about you" ((this is his pick-up line)) and then he says ((after I say nothing)) "so, do you have kids?" ((what? that is your opening question?)) I say NO and that I am too young to have kids ((this is where I go wrong, again as I have to tell him my age)) he shares he is 31 and that he doesn't have kids either ((oh great, we have something in common)). The conversation turns to what do we do ((he is a mechanic, I'm a teacher blah blah blah)) and then turns to where I work ((this is another where I go wrong)). He at somepoint tells me I better be careful driving if I have been drinking because the Brattleboro cops will pull over anyone ((obviously, they have nothing else to do)). Being my smart self I say oh that isn't a problem because I just walk home, I live real close. So not only does he know my age, what I do and where I work but where I live, just great! The conversation somehow turns to him wanting my phone number, so he can call me if I am out again tomorrow. I say well I will take yours ((thinking I can just pretend to enter it or delete it)) but he talks me into just calling his phone so he has my number too ((it is awkward/rude to say no)). He then gets up the nerve to ask me what time I get off work tomorrow ((um, hello, I am SO not interested and not telling you when I get off work)). Obviously creeper though he had me because he called Friday after work and left a message, called again and texted ((I chose to go with the cold shoulder and give no response, as I did not want to initiate anything with him)). Then I got a call and text the next day and lastly another call the next weekend ((hello?! COLD SHOULDER!!)) 4. CREEPERs in Burlington --> This past weekend I went with my friend from work ((same one that introduced me inadvertently to creeper)) to Burlington to go out for one of her friend's birthdays ((so random and I was out with 40 year old couples but that is for another blog)) and she was dancing with this major CREEPER. He was wearing a black turtleneck underarmor shirt and a brown leather jacket over it. He was dancing and was getting low and was all over my friend. At one point, I tried to get her to come outside with me to get away from him and he followed us....he then tried to invite us to stop at his horse farm/ranch the next day on our way home. HELLO?! Inviting us to his horse ranch? You can't get any more creepy than that!! I talked to my brother that night ((venting about the creeper and the randomness of my night)) and he said that the creeper was really trying to get us to come to his horse farm so he could give us some horse tranquilizers and do God knows what to us --- CREEPER.COM!! Okay I think that is enough and my class is over now :) so I am going to go home!! Goodnight!!

Searching for a New Principal

In the words of one of the 3/4 teachers; our search for a new principal for next year is the search for American Idol...

The principal at my school has worked at NewBrook for 14 years (I believe this is correct, but otherwise it is somewhere around this number). He is retiring and we must begin the search and interview process for a new principal. This is a HUGE change and change is difficult for people, so I have a feeling that this is going to be a huge production....but you never know.

I am hoping to be somehow involved, as I work closely on a daily basis with the principal but I do know that I am very YOUNG and NEW but who knows... I will be attending the school board meeting tomorrow night to learn more about the search/screen process, clarify the school staff involvement and ask a lot of questions!!!!

It is crazy to think that I have only worked with my principal for a year and have grown quite close and dependent on each other at school, and then he will be gone. Not only is he my surrogate/Vermont Dad, he has supported me and really made my first year of teaching go very smoothly.

I am hopeful for the new principal; for him/her to be organized, structured AND easy to work with!!

Is this a bad sign?

So Sunday night/Monday morning I had a TERRIBLE nightmare. It included 2 of my students. I was at some sort of water park/amusement park with water involved and it was the end of the water park day or activities or whatever was going on (this part is a little fuzzy). I was in some sort of boat or canoe and was strapped in somehow. My 2 students were walking on a pier/boardwalk to get out of the park. All of a sudden, they were in the water and could not swim. They were drowning. PANIC sets in and I (strapped in, in the boat/canoe) try to get out of the boat to try to jump in the water and SAVE my children! I am frantic, finally get out and start to swim over to my students. I wake up as I cannot save them and my students drown to death. I woke up in a sweat and panic and crying.......so traumatic for me!

1. WHO has this type of horrible horrible nightmare about their students?
2. Is this a bad sign?
3. I have only been teaching for 6 months and I am already having nightmares of my students dying?
4. Those 2 students better not get anywhere near water for the next 5 years.
5. I need to try harder to shut my brain off from work thinking when I get home but it is really HARD!!
6. AHHHHHHH!

I am exhausted and cannot wait for my winter break, 1 week off --> going to Florida to visit my Grandparents and stopping in NYC on the way down to visit my Uncle.

Hopefully after this week off from school/work/kids I will be able to turn off the work thinking at home and I will not have any more nightmares about my kids dying. Enough of that!

Stress City

Wow, I have obviously been super busy at work and with life because I have not had time to blog for so long! The month of January has been soooo crazy at work! I have just had meeting after meeting and SO much paperwork to do - no wonder they say that the burn out rate for special educators is so high and after like 5 years or so.

I do think I stress myself out more than I need to but it is so overwhelming at times when I am doing all these things for the very first time and even though I know I am doing a good job I always freak out more when I have to have a big meeting, especially with parents, because you really need to be on top of your game. Also, I find the pressure of all the due dates and all of the special education laws you have to follow super stressful. I am constantly worrying and laying awake at night trying to keep track of all I have to do or all that I have to remember. The hardest part of being a special educator, I think, and a teacher in general is trying to figure out how to balance all of the things you need to do and all of the roles you need to play. I have to balance all the paperwork, case management, meetings, scheduling, supervising not to mention having time to actually plan what I am going to teach. I know it will get easier with time and experience but I still feel like there are days when I am running around feeling so discombobulated!!!!!

On the upside, I have a lot to look forward to coming up this next month!

1. My Dad coming to visit me for my birthday next week :) yay!
2. Going to Florida to visit my Grandparents over my winter break February 20-25th :) yay!
3. Going to meet my besties Emily and Beth in NYC the first weekend in March :) yay!

So happy end of January and hopefully the end of some of the winter blues we are all probably feeling these days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (and it is slowly getting lighter longer at night a little bit each day!)

New Years Resolution

I resolve to blog more!

....starting tomorrow!